first post frustration

mm. i am frustrated with my life. i know i am in good company as we are all in the fat tails of an anomaly that has brought chaos back into full view. cause its always there. ahh recessions. times to make you take stock. the system is purging itself and youre along for the ride. its apt that my first post is inspired by frustration. it seems to be the only thing that motivates me these days. hmm. interesting as i am indeed in need of a motivator. goodness is there nothing slightly more enticing? lol. i guess i havent defined said frustration. mm. that would be primarily me, secondarily the country i currently reside in. i am being reinstructed in the ways of patience. i hate patience. whoever said it was a virtue is a jackass. its a chore. and excruciating time defying chore. sometimes i wish i could just sit down and do everything myself. pd2u's island. from the ground up. ha ha. i amuse myself. i feel my ego pursing in my veins. why else write a blog. tho its a sword that cuts both ways. what if i get no visitors. will i be satisfied with just the sound of my keyboard? hmm. time will tell i guess. its certainly making me feel a bit better now. i am trying to start a business and there are so many hoops to jump through. more psychological than anything really. i dont know how pops did it all these years. its really a fine line to self direct every minute of the day. i suppose he did have pressures tho. the provider. i think this is my post style. self absorbed minute to minute ramblings. i guess i hope that my thoughts help some other reader. you are not alone. you know. screaming out loud really helps. i wonder what the neighbors think. ha ha. i do do it at rather odd times. eh, who cares. i need to be about my business. to focus. i wish i had a good partner. is it a prefailure that i need a chaperon? how can one expect to be a leader if he needs the structure of a system? arrrgh. silence in my head. no answers. harsh maybe. yes. i hear a bell of truth tho. maybe im a better number two? ill try anyway. thanks for listening to my transmission of data packets....be back. im sure...